Apologies
by LemonsIntoLemonadeGurl
Summary: First full length story. It's been 6 years since CF. Katniss has given up all hope of Peeta returning, married Gale, had a daughter, and might be pregnant again. What happens when Peeta, against all odds returns?


I wake up, finding myself encased in Gale's arms. I slither out, and he mumbles and turns on his side. We live in District 13, have since the Rebellion first began. It's been six years since then. I walk to the small bathroom and brush my teeth with the flavorless toothpaste we're stuck with here. 13 has limited resources, mainly because getting anything from other districts is very difficult. Communication lines are always tapped, and sending someone manually is too risky. We're in hiding, and it's currently the best-case scenario.

I rinse the toothbrush and go back to the bedroom to get dressed. Gale's up, sitting on the edge of the mattress and stretching.

"Morning," he mumbles.

"Morning," I reply. He comes over and kisses me before disappearing into the bathroom to get ready for the day. I dig through the dresser until I find a pair of jeans and a dark blue shirt. I get dressed and walk down the hall to the second bedroom. I flick the light switch and walk over to the single bed. Ella, my 5 year old daughter, spitting image of Gale, is lying asleep on the bed with her little stuffed bird. A mockingjay. The old golden pin is secured to it's chest. I shake her shoulder lightly, and she stirs awake.

"Morning Mommy," she mutters, rubbing her eyes. I smile.

"Morning sweetie. Get up and ready for school, 'kay?" She nods. I head out to the kitchen and cook some bacon and eggs. Soon Gale comes out and plucks a hot ribbon of meat from the plate I'm setting on the table. Ella soon follows, jumping up on the chair and reaching across the table to get her food. Gale walks up behind her and tickles her stomach.

"Ah haha! Stop it Daddy!" she says, giggling. Gale chuckles, stops, and kisses her on the forehead. She grins and starts eating.

"I've got to go, big meeting today," Gale says, pulling on his coat on, the same old hunting jacket he had since before the Rebellion, and grabbing a worn leather-covered briefcase.

"Okay, see you later. Tell Haymitch I said hi," I tell him. He smiles and leaves. Ella finishes eating and tries to reach the sink to wash her plate.

"Here, I'll do that. How about you go get ready?" I say, taking the plate from her little hands. She nods and hobbles off to her room. I scrub and rinse the faded porcelain plate and set it on a thin cloth to dry. Soon Ella comes back out, smiling and ready to start the day.

* * *

I walk into the Rebellion HQ office after dropping Ella off at school. The previous mayor of District 12 is standing by a water container, talking to Haymitch.

"We can't keep this away. It's groundbreaking, and they have to know. The team called in, they've got-" he sees me walking in, and stops talking.

"Morning, Miss Everdeen," he says. I don't bother correcting him, that technically it's _Mrs. Hawthorne_, but just nod. Everyone still knows me as the Everdeen girl anyway. I turn the corner and hear them start mumbling again.

* * *

The rest of the day passes normally, and soon I'm sitting in our little house, waiting for Ella to get home from school. Gale works later than I do, and is still at the office. Ella arrives about half an hour later, running in the house with tears running down her cheeks.

"Mommy!" she cries, running over and hugging my legs, her stuffed bird in her hands.

"What happened, sweetie?" I ask.

"That scary man followed me home and tried to take Jay!" she whines, referring to the toy. I look down. My pin isn't on the doll anymore.

"What scary-" I start to ask, but am cut off by a knock on the door. Ella yelps and runs behind me. I go to open the door, and she trails behind me, shivering.

Who I see before me sends me into a state of genuine shock. Bright blond hair, fair skin, and blue crystalline eyes that stare at me lovingly. It's him. Peeta. He's no longer the 17 year old boy I saw just before the Quarter Quell came to an unexpected end. He's a 23 year old man, muscular but not too much so, with a light shadow over his jaw and creased eyes. He's almost half a foot taller than me now, but still shorter than Gale. The only trait he's kept is the unending look of innocence that occupies his gaze. I reach behind me and lift Ella up, resting her on my hip. She turns her head into my shoulder, scared of the man before her. So am I.

"Your pin fell off of the girl's toy," he says simply, eloquently. I reach my hand out, and the gold treasure drops into my fingers. I close my fist around it, petrified.

"Come in," I mutter, stepping back. Peeta nods and walks in the house humbly. I close the door behind me and set Ella down. She still hides behind my legs, holding the plush mockingjay in a death grip. I sit down on the small loveseat and she jumps in my lap; Peeta sits in the living chair across from me.

"So...you babysit, I guess?" That's Peeta. Innocent, naive Peeta. Somehow thinking that I waited for him all this time.

"No, Peeta. This is my _daughter_," I say bitterly. He looks surprised for a moment, but covered it up quickly with a look of interest.

"Hmm. So...I'm here."

"Yes, here, traumatizing children," I say. He shakes his head.

"Katniss...I'm here. I'm _alive_. We can be together aga-"

"No, Peeta. We can't be together," I insist. He's silent. The stinging words hang in the air.

"Why not." He didn't ask it as a question. He just said it. The words didn't want an answer, but I gave one anyway.

"Do you want me to list the reasons? There are several. I don't love you, for one. I might have at one point, but it's been 6 years Peeta! 6 years thinking you were dead. I gave up, and I moved on. I love Gale, I had his daughter, I'm married to him! There's no way you can expect me to give everything up for you."

"I...I thought you'd be happy when I...returned," he says, confusion reaching his eyes.

"Peeta...I am happy. But I already have a life." Silence engulfs the room for the next half hour. Ella falls asleep, so I get up and bring her to her bed. I attach the gold pin back to her stuffed toy and return to the living room.

"What's her name?" Peeta asks.

"Ella."

"She looks just like you." I've never been able to see any resemblance. All I've ever seen in her was Gale. But I guess there's probably some of me somewhere in her, maybe the pale skin, small nose. Something.

"Hmm." Peeta suddenly gets up and walks to me.

"Katniss, I love you." And then, straight out of nowhere, he crushes his lips to mine. I try to pull away, but he holds my arms securely in place and pulls them to his neck. I struggle and strain, but he's too strong. A few minutes later he lets me go. I wipe my mouth off and consider finding what small amounts of mouthwash we have in the house. He just stares lovingly at me.

"Nothing?" he asks. I glare.

"How was that supposed to do anything? Peeta, I don't love you. I'm married, I have a daughter, and possibly another child on the way, and I will not throw everything I love away to make you happy. Not again. Get out. I don't want to see you ever again if you can't accept that I don't want you," I say, pointing at the door. He looks beyond hurt, and is now staring at my belly. Maybe saying that I might be pregnant again was too much, but he needs to just accept the facts.

"Fine, Katniss. I really, really thought you'd want me again. I know I want you," he looks at me lustfully, "but I guess there are plenty of other girls in Panem, right? Yeah. Goodbye." With that, he walks out the door without looking back.


End file.
